...seem like the weeks have just flown by since the new year.
I had a strong sense that change was coming for me in 2010. Changes that would make me uncomfortable, stretching me and make me grow. Since I had started job hunting in November it was safe to assume that there would be more job hunting in the new year with hopes of finding one and getting to announce it here on my Blog. Ha!
We are only a few weeks into the new Year and I have seen glimpses of change all ready, time and time again. Thankfully, God has been faithful to remind that:
- He loves me enough to sometimes push me when my heels drag stubbornly. I don't always want things to change. I don't always want to the one that has to change (my way of thinking or the way I do something). If I am wise, I will not resist. I will stop the heel dragging, stand up straight and walk into my inheritance and destiny.
- "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
I formally applied for a job yesterday. A job that would be really challenging for me. A job reaching out to people in crisis, woman who are lost, confused and in many cases broken. A job that would require me to be driving (I do not have my license), public speaking, leading small woman's groups and listening to heartbreaking tales of individuals. I would have the weighty privileged of holding hearts!
Do you think sometimes we are afraid to succeed? I am. My husband is a great listener. He is very patient to let me talk a blue streak. I talked his ear off last night. I was telling him that I thought that this job was just too hard, too stretching. What if it broke me?! And wouldn't bagging people's groceries be just about right for me after all? He looked at me and said: "Sounds like you are quitting an amazing job even before you get it." What?!! Yep, he was right. I am not afraid to fail. I am afraid to succeed! I am totally fine if I don't get this job but I will be terrified to get this job! HA! Weird so weird...
I do not know how many others have applied for this job. I am guessing that the others will be much more qualified than I! I have no clue if I will get this job or not. What I do know, is that if it's offered to me I will take it and trust that God will equip me! I will try my best not to be terrified. I will be strong and courageous.
I may end up bagging your groceries after all but I know it really isn't the point of what I am learning right now. I am changing, I will change and I will try not to resist it as much as I have in the past. It's not easy. It isn't safe. But oh man...it is GOOD!
Join me in living with no regrets!