Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Blur
...seem like the weeks have just flown by since the new year.

I had a strong sense that
change was coming for me in 2010. Changes that would make me uncomfortable, stretching me and make me grow. Since I had started job hunting in November it was safe to assume that there would be more job hunting in the new year with hopes of finding one and getting to announce it here on my Blog. Ha!

We are only a few weeks into the new Year and I have seen glimpses of change all ready, time and time again. Thankfully, God has been faithful to remind that:
  • He loves me enough to sometimes push me when my heels drag stubbornly. I don't always want things to change. I don't always want to the one that has to change (my way of thinking or the way I do something). If I am wise, I will not resist. I will stop the heel dragging, stand up straight and walk into my inheritance and destiny.
A lady that I know (only 3 years older than I), died in late December after a long fight with Cancer. Before she died, she made a point to tell all of us to live fully and with NO REGRETS. In this time of great change I am reminding myself of her wise words and trying not to let fear of change hold me back.
  • "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

I formally applied for a job yesterday. A job that would be really challenging for me. A job reaching out to people in crisis, woman who are lost, confused and in many cases broken. A job that would require me to be driving (I do not have my license), public speaking, leading small woman's groups and listening to heartbreaking tales of individuals. I would have the weighty privileged of holding hearts!

Do you think sometimes we are afraid to succeed? I am. My husband is a great listener.
He is very patient to let me talk a blue streak. I talked his ear off last night. I was telling him that I thought that this job was just too hard, too stretching. What if it broke me?! And wouldn't bagging people's groceries be just about right for me after all? He looked at me and said: "Sounds like you are quitting an amazing job even before you get it." What?!! Yep, he was right. I am not afraid to fail. I am afraid to succeed! I am totally fine if I don't get this job but I will be terrified to get this job! HA! Weird so weird...

I do not know how many others have applied for this job. I am guessing that the others will be much more qualified than I! I have no clue if I will get this job or not. What I do know, is that if it's offered to me I will take it and trust that God will equip me! I will try my best not to be terrified. I will be strong and courageous.

I may end up bagging your groceries after all but I know it really isn't the point of what I am learning right now. I am changing, I will change and I will try not to resist it as much as I have in the past. It's not easy. It isn't safe. But oh man...it is GOOD!

Join me in living with no regrets!



10 comments:

Patty said...

AWESOME post Holly! As my boys would say, "You rock!"

The Hippie Moose said...

I'm with Patty, your rock sista'!

Anonymous said...

Holly, many years ago a wise woman I used to work with told me that "God's path never takes you where His Grace can not keep you." I remind myself of this when I am feeling wary or uncertain. Hope its helpful for you too.
:) Ali

Maureen said...

Think of regrets this way
R enew
E njoy
G od
R ejoice
E mulate
T rust
S aviour

Joining with you in living a Christ filled life.
Remember having courage doesn't mean having the lack of fear but walking through it.
Blessings to you in whatever path the Lord is leading you in.

Cheryl said...

Very good journey you are Holly.
I think the biggest thing is that we are willing to allow God to bring change, and sometimes that means something completely different than what we imagine. He ALWAYS has our best interest at heart.

Holly said...

Thanks Girls! :) Ali, I love what that wise lady shared with you. The trick is to stay on the RIGHT path!! That's what I am trying to do...What an adventure!
Holly

redeemed diva said...

You are such a talented woman and have so much to offer others, Holly. I think about your love for flowers and gardens and I totally see you growing like one of the plants you care for. YOu can do it. You are a woman who can meet a challenge!

Jen said...

I BELIEVE in you my Friend!
You are capable of so much more than you know!

For a number of years my life's mantra has been to live without regret. I really do too!
Looking back some things make me sad or momentarily wishful that they had turned out differently...but ultimately, I have absolutely no regrets. Every singe event, step and yes even tragedies have helped to form me into who I am today...
I like who I am...therefore No regrets!

You go for it girl, let this whole process stretch and change you and know that He is working for your greatest good....even when the stretching hurts like crazy and you are sure you will break right in two!

Tamatha said...

I am still job hunting too!:o)

Did you hear anything about this one that you applied for?

Shaun and Holly said...

Tammy,
I haven't heard anything yet. The application deadline for the position is today. I am hoping at the very least for an interview because it would be a good experience for me.
H.